Paying the Piper (in nuts)

I am spending the week "paying the piper" as my mom would say. I decided to play, now I have to pay. Where did I play? In the dang almonds again. Nuts.
NO MORE NUTS ARE ALLOWED IN MY HOUSE.

I can assure you there aren't any there now, because I had a second nut extravaganza this weekend. Dang it! I was so lucky to recover from the last one and still lose, and I did it again?

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So here I am paying the piper with extra steps, hard workouts, and all the things that make a diet/lifestyle change so rough. I have tried throughout my journey to learn along the way, and to do things in a sustainable manner. For example, I don't go nuts doing extra workouts (beyond my 5 per week) because I know I won't sustain that.

This week I learned that if I make unhealthy eating choices, I am also making miserable lifestyle choices. Not only because I will have a food hangover the next day or two, but I also can end up condemning myself to a VERY long week of extra steps, extra workouts, extra hard regular workouts, extra water, extra sleep... and it's extra stressful (and stress can inhibit weight loss so that's bad). All for a can of almonds?

and yes, I ate the WHOLE CAN. and then went on to eat every packet of nut butter I had in the cabinet leftover from vacation. and then I ate all my pre-measured baggies of almonds for snacks (6 almonds per baggie, and there were empty baggies everywhere).

Gross.

But let's not wallow in guilt here, let's figure out how I can NOT do this again. Because I am working waaayyyy too hard this week just trying to not have my scale show a weight gain tomorrow.

• For one, my Dietitian says let's find another healthy fat that isn't nuts. I cannot control myself with nuts (I think I could be the only person alive who actually likes Brazil nuts even).
• For two, I need to plan ahead so I don't get Monster Hungry. Monster hungry leads to monstrous stupid choices, and since I can see that weekends are more challenging I clearly need to plan ahead
• For three, I need to help myself remember the goal- so I have posted a few of my 20/20 fliers around the house to remind me how important this program is to me.

The funny thing is the hardest part about this week hasn't been making smart eating choices, or working hard (Woodstock has been dutifully working my tail off), the hardest part has been being kind to myself through the week. So many times I have begun sentences in my head berating myself for making a "mistake", or telling myself to expect failure, or not to make it any further.

But there's no room for negative self talk in 20/20. It causes stress, it makes you feel crappy, and frankly it's exhausting coming up with new and creative insults for one's self. So I am just going to use this week to stop that negative self talk and try to just dutifully work off the damage I have done while reminding myself to remember this the next time I am tempted to go on a nut gorge.