Sing the title of this post to the tune of "The Good Ship Lollipop", only the SS Sabotage is a bad, bad ship.
First of all, I had a stressful week and was tempted by a gift that included an insanely large amount of my favorite chocolate. I did a good job of avoiding the candy, but as the weekend progressed with small stressors (dead car batteries, a mild Homecoming Dance issue for my son, etc) I felt more and more like I was going to crack.
What I should have done: gone out and grocery shopped. The fridge wasn't exactly full, and I was running out of healthy food and I was about to crack.
What I did right: went out running Saturday morning and made it a record 2.7 miles. Yay, me. This was outstanding. Unfortunately, it was soon forgotten as the crazy day rolled on and I was low on food.
What I did wrong: wrapped myself around a jar of JIF peanut butter. Oh, the agony of such a terrible choice. No, seriously, I ended up with such a horrific stomach ache from the fatty stabilizers and junk in there. But I didn't stop.
On Monday I confessed to Woodstock, who sweetly started to chat with me about overeating by a "couple extra teaspoons of peanut butter". At this point I had to confess- there is no way I ate less than 2 full cups of JIF. I bet it was 3. There was no living in denial all day Sunday because I had gastrointestinal issues so bad I had to leave church early and go home.
Woodstock suggested perhaps I was pushing my limits by pigging out on something "I was allowed to have" (though she pointed out that JIF is not allowable, and rationalizing is never helpful). Yep, definitely it was a power struggle. But why? I've dealt with stress before in this program. Hmmmmm...
I was discussing this with Skinnybuns via email, and had to work my butt off all week- totally took the wind out of my sails.
I told her that I had officially boarded the SS Self Sabotage for a cruise to Stress Island.
My journaling went a bit sideways (ie, I did a bad job of it) and Cassie (Lifestyle Counselor) and I discussed how to avoid getting on the SS SS and ways to not fall apart when the stressors just pile on one after the other. Cassie calls it hijacking- how to deal with times when you cannot control events and you feel like your life is being hijacked. I really liked that phrase.
I really feel like I pinpointed a few things, things I hadn’t even realized the FIRST time I went Nut Crazy (2 weeks prior when I ate all my snack bags of nuts- like 3 weeks worth). Here's what I learned:
When you lose control of everything else, losing control of your eating makes you feel worse not better.
1) Always have chicken and baby carrots around because you can pretty much eat your own bodyweight in them and not have a bad weigh in week. When you run out of these, you risk nut madness.
2) Sometimes things get hijacked no matter how hard you try to protect yourself. You just can’t avoid it, you can only avoid turning a hijacking into a plane crash.
3) If you gorge on Jif you will come VERY close to needing to wear an adult diaper to church the next day, and that’s just not fun for anyone. Then you'll spend the week working insanely hard to try to shed the JIF.
What I should have done: gone out and grocery shopped. The fridge wasn't exactly full, and I was running out of healthy food and I was about to crack.
What I did right: went out running Saturday morning and made it a record 2.7 miles. Yay, me. This was outstanding. Unfortunately, it was soon forgotten as the crazy day rolled on and I was low on food.
What I did wrong: wrapped myself around a jar of JIF peanut butter. Oh, the agony of such a terrible choice. No, seriously, I ended up with such a horrific stomach ache from the fatty stabilizers and junk in there. But I didn't stop.
On Monday I confessed to Woodstock, who sweetly started to chat with me about overeating by a "couple extra teaspoons of peanut butter". At this point I had to confess- there is no way I ate less than 2 full cups of JIF. I bet it was 3. There was no living in denial all day Sunday because I had gastrointestinal issues so bad I had to leave church early and go home.
Woodstock suggested perhaps I was pushing my limits by pigging out on something "I was allowed to have" (though she pointed out that JIF is not allowable, and rationalizing is never helpful). Yep, definitely it was a power struggle. But why? I've dealt with stress before in this program. Hmmmmm...
I was discussing this with Skinnybuns via email, and had to work my butt off all week- totally took the wind out of my sails.
I told her that I had officially boarded the SS Self Sabotage for a cruise to Stress Island.
My journaling went a bit sideways (ie, I did a bad job of it) and Cassie (Lifestyle Counselor) and I discussed how to avoid getting on the SS SS and ways to not fall apart when the stressors just pile on one after the other. Cassie calls it hijacking- how to deal with times when you cannot control events and you feel like your life is being hijacked. I really liked that phrase.
I really feel like I pinpointed a few things, things I hadn’t even realized the FIRST time I went Nut Crazy (2 weeks prior when I ate all my snack bags of nuts- like 3 weeks worth). Here's what I learned:
When you lose control of everything else, losing control of your eating makes you feel worse not better.
1) Always have chicken and baby carrots around because you can pretty much eat your own bodyweight in them and not have a bad weigh in week. When you run out of these, you risk nut madness.
2) Sometimes things get hijacked no matter how hard you try to protect yourself. You just can’t avoid it, you can only avoid turning a hijacking into a plane crash.
3) If you gorge on Jif you will come VERY close to needing to wear an adult diaper to church the next day, and that’s just not fun for anyone. Then you'll spend the week working insanely hard to try to shed the JIF.
Oh, and one last thing- if you eat your own bodyweight in grilled boneless skinless chicken and baby carrots you still have to journal them, because your dietitian is always watching and counting, even if she's always on shore.
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